My life is falling apart once again. I feel so alone since Tim is gone. It seems like I have no one to talk to because everyone is so busy with their own lives.

My mom is really sick right now and I'm scared. She hasn't eaten really anything in almost a week. I'm scared because we have just been able to have a semi-normal relationship in the past few months. I feel so helpless, there is nothing I can do. I went and bought her flowers today even though I barely have enough money for groceries. I don't know what to do or say to make her feel any better. I wish I could be here when she sees them but I have to go to school. college.....what a joke.

I'm just so tired, but every time I try to sleep I have these weird fucked up dreams. I've been dreaming about Tim a lot. I just miss our friendship so much. I almost stopped in to his work today because I saw his car out front. But I just couldn't bring myself to going inside because I am scared of what would happen. I am afraid that he would just tell me to fuck off and I think that would hurt even more than just dealing with all of this myself. Any suggestions as to what I should do would be greatly appreciated.